I'm at a very weird place in my life right now. Things are extremely confusing... things about my family, things about school, things about what I want to do with my life, the direction I'm headed in. I've been so angry, sad and confused lately and I've been letting my emotional problems take hold of me, as I always have. Everything and anything has been upsetting me lately. I am completely unsure with what I want to do with my life right now, and what I want to do with it in the future. I'm thinking of taking some time away from the distractions in my life... this includes going to shows, hanging out with my friends, talking with people on AIM or even posting on boards such as this. I need to take some time to figure out what I want out of my life, and what I want from myself. I'm not sure when exactly I'm going to do all this or take this step, it may not be tomorrow, it may even be a couple of months from now. But if for some reason, sometime soon I seem to disappear and nobody hears from me for a while, you know why. I'm not going to be a shut-in, I'm not just going to stay in my house and sulk. I am going to go out and get fresh air, I'm going to see a therapist, I'm going to be put on chemical medication... just maybe cut off most communication from most people I know and get away from the things in my life preventing me from focusing on what I need to do in order to make myself a happy person. I will still check my e-mail regularly, and for those of you who read my LiveJournal, I'm going to be updating everyone on how things are going for me so you will all know I'm alive and how I am doing in my search to find myself.

I'm in a terrible emotional state right now and I don't want to bring anyone down along with me. That's why I might be cutting off most communication from the majority of the people I know.

If you guys need to e-mail me, or want to say hello, my e-mail address is: barrieXcore@positive-youthfoundation.com
My LiveJournal:: Barrie's journal

Of course, I don't know if I'll be doing this right away so if I post from time to time don't be surprised. But if I suddenly disappear, you all know why. And you know where to find me.

[ January 04, 2002: Message edited by: One Girl Army ]

i admire your determintion to make yourself better. i think it takes a lot of courage to do what you're doing. (admitting you have a problem, and seeking help from others and youself)