Author
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Topic: death of those close
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Walter Sobchek
Member # 37
Member Rated:
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posted April 22, 2002 20:31
i dunno. i just wanted to put this out. my grandfather is on his last legs. they say he'll probably go this week. it's not the biggest deal i guess. the family has known it was coming for a long time. he's been in the nursing home for 3 years 1 month and going through kemo-dialosis (sp?) for almost all that time. they say the avg person lasts no more than 2 years in that, which says something about my grandpa. my grandma is a sweet lady, even if she still can't adjust to the late 20th century. i get scared more for what she'll do when he's gone, not about him actually dying. i don't want her going crazy or anything. they've been married for 51+ years. even this whole time of him in the nursing home, she's been there pretty much every day at his side, up until this latest hospital entry. dammit. i'm a few weeks from 22, and this is the first grandparent i'm in danger of losing. its weird. i've had it lucky i guess. the other day, i was at my parents house for dinner, and we were talking about it. nobody was really upset, but i brought up my grandma. my mom told me stop over to her house and talk. i did, telling myself it would be good. well, i lost it when i got inside for some strange reason. she was actually fine, and talking normal to me. maybe i was worried about nothing. she's a religious lady, so maybe she finally got comfort. i've lost a lot of my reliigious structure in the past 5 years. but this time makes me wonder about things in general. i dunno. even if everyone knows it's coming, it still has a huge impact on all involved. sorry for writing so much. i wanted to let some out to other people. i wonder what i'll gain from this, and what else i could lose. 2 weeks before my birthday, 4 weeks before graduation. but that doesn't even matter....
-------------------- dude...dude. You're being very un-dude. Nothing is fucked here. Nothing is fucked. They're all a bunch of FUCKIN AMATUERS!
Posts: 237 | From: SmAlbany, NY | Registered: Oct 2001
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